I only found out last night through a mommy Facebook group that October 9 to 15, 2021 is Baby Loss Awareness Week. The timing gives me goosebumps. Because exactly this day last year, October 12, 2020, I experienced an early miscarriage. This is the first time that I’ve really opened up about it. And I decided to share my story on Modern Parenting in the hopes that it can help others heal.
If I could go back in time, I would have done some things quite differently to help me recover faster.
Take a Mental Health Leave
When it happened, I had just started my job as a managing editor of a global beauty brand’s publication. The workload was overwhelming and the hours were quite long. The day I went to the hospital was the only leave I really took. And though my boss offered that I take a few more days off, I chose not to. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to keep myself distracted. But looking back now, I wish I did take a few days off to rest, gather my emotions, and process everything.
Find a Support Group
Though I eventually opened up to a few select friends, I guess it’s different finding someone who went through something similar. I wish I found the Glam-O-Mamas group sooner. So many anonymous moms share their own stories that I find comfort in.
Acknowledge That It Happened
I don’t know if it was a mix of denial, anger, and grief. But not understanding my emotions affected almost everything I did. It drove me to hate my job and cry all the time. The worst was when I broke down crying to the CEO of the company I worked for.
Those are just some things I would have done differently. But I do know that the early miscarriage made me realize the love I’m capable of giving. I still think about my angel baby all the time and I pray to him or her for a healthy pregnancy and the safe delivery of our rainbow baby due in December.